Redefining Mental Health Through Culture, Connection, and Gratitude with Nyachan Nyak

What does it mean to truly care for our mental health? For Nyachan Nyak, founder and CEO of the Nas Recovery Centre, the answer goes far beyond mainstream models of care.

In this inspiring conversation, Nyachan shares her journey from growing up in South Sudanese refugee camps to becoming a leader in culturally tailored mental health and addiction recovery in Australia. She explains why community connection, cultural sensitivity, and lived experience are essential for lasting change, and why joy and gratitude are powerful tools for resilience.

You’ll hear about:
– Why “perfect mental health” is a harmful myth
– The importance of cultural context in recovery and wellbeing
– Practical harm-reduction strategies anyone can use
– How gratitude and joy can help us navigate hard times
– The role of community and connection in true healing

Connect  with Nyachan Nyak: 
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nyachan-n-b6585a1a9?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app 

Want the quick takeaways?
Read the blog post for a full breakdown of the episode. https://podcast.trueformpodcast.com/blog

🎧 Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube or wherever you listen to your podcasts. 

Watch me on YouTube
https://youtu.be/o0P7BFknZQE 

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 3:00 Nyachan’s early life in South Sudan and refugee camps
• 10:00 Finding her path: study, work, and raising a family
• 15:00 Why she founded the Nas Recovery Centre (NRC)
• 20:00 What culturally tailored support looks like
• 27:00 Breaking the myth of “perfect” mental health
• 32:00 Addiction, substance use, and the role of unaddressed issues
• 45:00 Joy and gratitude as tools for resilience
• 50:00 Building community and support systems before crisis hits
• 58:00 Mentorship, role models, and leadership

Transcript

Thanks for coming on the podcast. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to hear this. When our friends introduced us. Yeah. Like we were saying, she very. She had to you a lot. And then I dived in your content and I got no idea where to start. But you do so much and there's so many topics we can cover.

00;04;26;12 - 00;04;50;20
Unknown
So I'm going to throw it back to you. Over the last month or so. What have you found that people are struggling with that would help them find their true form. See anyway. Nice to meet you. Just very excited to also be here because. Yeah, the friend that connected me is someone I trust. And I was looking forward to find out what's going on here.

00;04;50;21 - 00;05;15;12
Unknown
So thank you for having me. I think what I'm finding through my work and also my personal life, or you just people around me, I think people are just so obsessed with having a good mental health that it's they forgetting they actually are in a good mental health. Sometimes. What I'm trying to say is everyone's trying to chase this.

00;05;15;14 - 00;05;35;06
Unknown
I don't know what it's supposed to look like to have a good mental health, and it's very unrealistic to have a full, good mental health because you're not in control of all the things that it takes to have a good mental health. So I will like I need to do this. I need to do this. This is like if you got a bed, got food, you got good health, you got some sort of relationships.

00;05;35;09 - 00;05;59;04
Unknown
It doesn't have to be intimate. 1 or 2. Good friends. Maybe you're talking to one family member of yours. At least you're okay. You can improve it, but you're not exactly. You know. You know. And so I think people just like this overconsumption about having good mental health. It's making even people who are in good mental health think they're not in good mental health.

00;05;59;10 - 00;06;21;10
Unknown
And the real people who are not in good mental health. I don't be getting the support because the shadow of everybody try to chase the same mental health. So I think for me, yeah, if people just just take a step back, evaluate where you at, what's going on right now? You see, you're okay. It's true isn't it.

00;06;21;14 - 00;06;39;15
Unknown
But everybody's obsessing about having that perfect life and being happy. And you have to be happy all the time. But you're not going to be happy all the time. You can't be. Not now anyway. With all the things that are going on in the world. Yeah. Like to be fully happy. Like it would be good if everything was under control.

00;06;39;15 - 00;07;03;03
Unknown
We had great government. We had good interest rates. You know, we had healthy foods that are not I don't know that organically being grown. And we had, like, family members that, understanding of our lifestyles and or whatnot, like, you know, we had good relationships and maybe we found the right people and all those things, like, there's so many elements that are not in our control.

00;07;03;05 - 00;07;33;18
Unknown
If all that was in control, we can have that big, wonderful, the great mental health that we all want, however. Yeah, a lot of things. We're not in control. We can control the weather, weather, the sunshine, and we get enough vitamin D, or whether there is a tsunami or whether Donald Trump is going to be out and we're going to have a, you know, like there's so many like, you can't control all that and you need everything to work together to have the full picture of good mental health.

00;07;33;21 - 00;07;54;04
Unknown
So I think we just need to be grateful for where things are at and realize that that picture is probably not going to come anytime soon. Yeah. But like you said, just accepting the world as it is and being happy with that. I want to dive more into that. But before we do that, before we dive into you, let's go back.

00;07;54;06 - 00;08;23;05
Unknown
What's your story? How did you end up where you are now? My story is long, interesting, intriguing. I love my story. So I am South Sudanese, so that's my story. I am from a tribe corner. You can say hello, Mala. In my language. I came from, I lived in various refugee camps before coming here when I was 11.

00;08;23;08 - 00;08;53;20
Unknown
Before. So. Right until I was 11, I was living in refugee camps. I have really good memories of refugee camps. Joy, fun. People who are together, people who are supporting each other, people who are living in the moment. People who are able to improvise. They they take opportunities that come. They don't whinge like I have a really good memory of how people how gratitude can change everything.

00;08;53;22 - 00;09;16;01
Unknown
So those people, you know, think of, yeah. Refugee camp, hungry, like children with big tummies. That does exist. But there's a lot of also hungry children that I enjoy that I supported, that have really healthy relationships and very connected communities and yeah, and know how to look after their mental health together so that that's how my story began.

00;09;16;01 - 00;09;49;06
Unknown
So I lived in refugee camps, came to Australia with the my dad, my step mom and my three half sisters, who I here loved dearly and then, yeah, my step mom and dad divorce. And then from I think their things got a little bit murky, but all I ever remember is always being hungry to make something of myself and make something of, do something that will leave a legacy for others.

00;09;49;09 - 00;10;18;10
Unknown
And. Yeah, as soon as I was 16, moved out, got a job, earned some good money, bought my first car, everything I have always worked hot for. I had a sport car by the time I turned 17. Kind of Mazda mX five. Didn't even have a license. Paid it out. Right. So, you know, worked really hard. And yeah, from there I just kept trying to better myself, weed out some people that were not healthy.

00;10;18;12 - 00;10;59;18
Unknown
Mate, like, was always conscious of my decision, my thoughts, where I'm going to live, who I'm going to talk to every single day. I control the next, like not control control. But I'm very conscious about things I do. I don't just do I think about it. And so yeah, I then had got married, was in relationship for about eight years, got married, then married for many years later, divorced, have three children, happy raising some healthy three children, then started a an organization, a charity.

00;10;59;18 - 00;11;20;07
Unknown
That's what I'll say. Like my stories. Like it's just I don't know how it all happened within 24 years of being in this country, but all that just just happened. And that's the some of my story. Yeah. Started a charity. When did that start? Two 2023 okay. But started long before that because I was working on the model of care I was studying, I was doing my masters, everything.

00;11;20;07 - 00;11;45;01
Unknown
I was putting all the pieces together before it could actually open. But yeah, launched it in 2023 and still thriving now. Yeah. And I just and that story just keeps unfolding. You said that you think about your decision you're making before you do it. You don't just go out and do things. I think that's a very good skill to have.

00;11;45;04 - 00;12;08;02
Unknown
A lot of people just do and don't think, unfortunately. And where did that come from? How did is that just something you've always had? All that was that, I learned skill. So living in a refugee camp and not knowing what's going to happen next, you adopt certain skills of being hypervigilant, being everything has to be ration, right?

00;12;08;02 - 00;12;28;21
Unknown
Even food, everything. You know, you're you're one outfit. You have to make sure. What am I watching? I'm going to wash it before I go to church like everything was calculated in, in order to keep going because you didn't have abundance, you couldn't just make mistakes like you had to be careful about what's happening. Right? And so I think it's a trauma response, but it's worked into my benefit.

00;12;28;23 - 00;12;49;03
Unknown
And when I say like, oh, you know, I control all my decisions, it doesn't mean I don't make mistakes. It doesn't mean I'm not careless. But whatever I do, I don't sit back and regret it. If I choose to be careless, there's high possibility I made that choice, either because I'm like, life is too short, or because I just feel like that's what I need in that moment.

00;12;49;05 - 00;13;10;11
Unknown
So every decision I make, I don't sit back and whine and complain about it. That's what I meant by it. I, fully aware about the choices I make. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad. But I am not regretful. So. Makes perfect sense. Yeah. And you said you're putting all the pieces to the puzzle before you started your business.

00;13;10;13 - 00;13;37;01
Unknown
Charity. Charity. That was that again. Was that just something you started doing and putting the pieces together before you knew what was happening? Or did you have that doll in your head, that vision? Yeah, it's a bit of everything. I'm very sentimental. Like, I just I'm so blessed that pretty much everything that I thought about or work towards, even if I didn't really understand what it was, they seemed to come like to life somehow.

00;13;37;03 - 00;13;58;22
Unknown
And so I've always I'm very passionate about social justice. I am always I've always been that type of friend that there could be a crowd of people I will not go for what's purple. I will go for what is right. I'll stand up for the unpopular. I will argue till moon or cows come home. Whatever that say is to protect someone I don't even know versus the person I know.

00;13;58;22 - 00;14;21;04
Unknown
I like what is right. I like the truth. I don't care how bad the truth is. Like I, I enjoy authentic people and and so I've always wanted to stand up, like to just just do something. I've always been destined and enjoy walking with those who are marginalized, whatever that look like. I didn't know it was going to be mental health.

00;14;21;07 - 00;14;41;09
Unknown
It could have been I worked in a nursing home because I wanted to work with old people and support them because they have done so much for the country and you know, they deserve to be looked after. I worked with people with disability because, you know, they deserve to be looked after. I worked in retail like I did so many things, and a lot of time has come back to me wanting to make a difference.

00;14;41;11 - 00;15;01;02
Unknown
Right. And so I didn't know what it was going to look like. I didn't know it was going to be charity. But after I worked in aged care for about six years, I was drawn to talking. I was drawn into uplifting, like I would talk to veterans. I would talk to the lady that no one's talking to, the one that's more quiet, like I was always drawn to the people.

00;15;01;02 - 00;15;18;02
Unknown
That just seems to be a bit left out. And it just and it always felt good. And so I was like, what is it that I can do? What type of qualification and job can I do that allows me to do this more? Because in a nursing home you couldn't just keep doing that, like you didn't go there to be a counselor when that support worker.

00;15;18;04 - 00;15;38;27
Unknown
Right? So and then I was like, I'll do psychology. And I didn't end up doing psychology. I did a diploma of health science. And then I was like, oh, I like drug and alcohol and mental health. So I did a bachelor in drug and alcohol and Mental health, and I was like, I want to specialize in mental health specifically because I feel like it's a driver for most things.

00;15;38;29 - 00;16;03;01
Unknown
So when I did my masters in that and as I was doing my placements and, you know, working in the field, I kept seeing that there was a particular community that wasn't being represented. So I was like, we need to change that. So I started doing a lot of outreach, you know, meeting with people that are homeless or drug and alcohol, have, you know, drug addiction issues and other problems.

00;16;03;03 - 00;16;27;28
Unknown
And I was like, we need to I know I can't just come here by myself. We need a group. So I started telling other people to come on outreach. So I would like call nurses organizations, big organization. And literally from Red cross to just literally saying, what is your disaster's, appeal program that you have? Like it's Covid and people who are homeless are not getting vaccinated.

00;16;28;00 - 00;16;43;05
Unknown
Like, what are you doing about that? And I would just sell it to them because my skills from retail worked really well. Like I never got off the phone without getting what I need. And so they were like, you can we can donate this. We can get bunk bed like things they don't usually do for that sort of cohort was being done.

00;16;43;07 - 00;17;03;22
Unknown
Had nurses would be like, we don't usually do outreach for vaccination, but we'll come with you. If you say so. They'll set up their little stations and vaccinate people that they wouldn't even ever go to. And so I was like, okay, we need to turn this into an organization because I've got a wealth of experience, connections. I'm good with collaboration.

00;17;03;24 - 00;17;22;00
Unknown
I need a point of where people can reach me. So I started the project Path to Home. I'm free to that. And I was waiting for an opportunity. I was like, I don't have money, I've got a mortgage. Three little kids, like, where am I? The money? And there was a grant that was going through the Department of Justice and Community Safety.

00;17;22;03 - 00;17;39;14
Unknown
I've written my first grant. I don't even know what. Like I've never heard of Grant. I didn't even know what grants were. All right. And then I just went to a hotel for two nights, just put my hat on and just written an all night submitted. I was up all night and submitted to. I was like, we'll see.

00;17;39;16 - 00;17;58;22
Unknown
And then they called me though, like, we like it. And I was like, oh, it worked. Now I have to make it happen. They're like, do you have a venue? I was like, no, but I can look for a venue. So I started doing all this and and yeah, two and a half years later, it's big. Well it's not big, but we have staff, we have volunteers.

00;17;58;22 - 00;18;21;11
Unknown
We have helped dozens of students doing their placements who, like, would come and say, this is the best place I ever done my, my any work experience before. And I'm like, yeah, amazing. It is going somewhere. So what are you doing now? Like, what's the charity doing now? What's a charity doing now? We run various programs, counseling programs.

00;18;21;11 - 00;18;38;07
Unknown
We have case management. We still do the outreach, which is how it all started, because and it's what the community won. There's a lot of shame. And stigma in seeking help. But also there's a lot of barriers coming to the office. So we won't go there. We go there, we take food, we take gift bags and give them out and just talk.

00;18;38;14 - 00;19;01;11
Unknown
We leave our numbers and usually the next day or even in that moment, someone does come. Like I had instances where I've taken people from there and they end up in rehab and 12 months later they've changed their life around. So it does work. We do training so that, I guess community understanding that I have as well as passion for mental health training and I'm a suicide, trainer as well.

00;19;01;14 - 00;19;25;16
Unknown
So I train practitioners and community members and just average people who wants to also learn the skills to make a difference. So we do trainings, doing a lot at the moment. There's a lot going on in the African, Australian community, as you know. So we've been asked to, deliver, collective healings. So group therapies that will be coming up.

00;19;25;16 - 00;19;45;05
Unknown
So that's some of the thing that, just came and I'm excited because that's the sort of stuff I really like to do, bringing people together and with shared experience, heal together, laugh. Even if it's just being together. It's enough for me. Just seeing people exchange laughter and uplift each other and validate each other and say, I'm going through that too, or you too.

00;19;45;05 - 00;20;01;24
Unknown
And what do you do to change that? Like, that's exciting stuff that I love and it's sustainable. Like you could support so many people with just to feel a couple of coins to put for catering, and it's enough for community to heal. It doesn't have to be this big hospital based thing. So that's the stuff, some of the things that are happening.

00;20;01;24 - 00;20;25;13
Unknown
We work with young people in criminal justice. I deliver counseling sessions by zoom or sometime in person. Yeah. It's amazing, absolutely amazing. And I appreciate all the energy and effort you put in all those things. Yeah, it is very inspiring. Can we go back to your masters? Drug and alcohol? What's the effect of that on mental health?

00;20;25;16 - 00;20;55;20
Unknown
Bruh, that's a long so I do. Correction. My master's is in mental health. I've got a bachelor in and community mental health and drug and alcohol. Okay, well, from what I'm seeing on the ground is unaddressed mental health issues, unaddressed social isolation, unaddressed unemployment, unaddressed racism, unaddressed discrimination at school, unaddressed poor relationships and parental overwhelmed, and many more things.

00;20;55;20 - 00;21;16;04
Unknown
These people have no choice but to take on substance, to numb, to cope. And if I was in that situation, I'll do exactly the same. When you're saying unaddressed, what do you mean by that? Well, like, you know, people either are not aware that they are experiencing these issues or because of stigma, they don't seek help or they don't know where to get help.

00;21;16;06 - 00;21;33;22
Unknown
But also we have systems and services that are not responsive to people needs. There's a lot of barriers to getting help. Waitlists are crazily long when people are motivated, especially people with drug and alcohol. Like this. Crazy. Wait, you're like, ready to stop drinking and you want to get your life back? They're like, oh yeah, that would just take a couple of six months.

00;21;33;25 - 00;22;03;06
Unknown
In the meantime, keep drinking because it's a safe things to do. And then before you know it, it's become chronic. And it's just people are losing their lives, you know, relationships, families because of the weight. So that's what I mean by unaddressed, like, so many levels of unaddressed things like there's no early intervention. Yeah. What. What can people do like but let's address those people I want to change during that situation.

00;22;03;08 - 00;22;28;21
Unknown
They've called up and it's like six months. But what should people be thinking about doing in those situations. Either drinking to excess it's affecting their life. Or insert whatever you want. Their drugs, alcohol whatever you want. What should people be doing. Again. Getting help is the best thing you can do. But if it's six months away and you want to change now what can I do.

00;22;28;23 - 00;22;55;28
Unknown
Yeah it's obviously different for many people. Some people if you have good support system, you know you can heal within your community. You know, you can have your I don't know, your partner. You can tell them like, honey, if, like, I'm trying to cut from 5 to 4, I want you to keep the rest of the drink locked away or something, you know, or don't give me money for this, right?

00;22;55;28 - 00;23;18;04
Unknown
There's, like, strategies like that. You know, you could get yourself other hobbies that, within your control, like exercise, obviously doesn't come that easy if you're in a mess of addiction. Right? It's it's a lot of effort, but, finding some other things to do. There's also services, obviously, like NHS Recovery Center and many other services that are bridging support.

00;23;18;04 - 00;23;40;27
Unknown
So in the meantime, you can talk to someone to learn some coping strategies to reduce your use while you're waiting if it's safe to do so with your GP support as well. And of course, support having someone who's going to be there to hold your hand while you're waiting is so important. And that's why it's so different for some people, because they may not even have a safe accommodation to sleep in.

00;23;40;27 - 00;24;03;27
Unknown
They're on the street, they don't have family. You know, and so try and expect them to cut. The only way they know how to cope is unrealistic. And so if that happened, obviously, don't mix drugs, you know, know what you're taking, you know, do all the things that you could do to prevent. Because at the end of the day, the goal is to prevent death or injury, right.

00;24;03;29 - 00;24;31;20
Unknown
All that stuff can come later. The most important is your staying alive. So do learn. Talk to someone who can teach you how to use safely while you're waiting to achieve your ultimate goal. If that's that is abstinence. For mental health. You know, obviously there's, we have a wonderful country that have Medicare system speak to your GP again, there's some waitlist, but start start the process because as soon as you started, as soon the wait can get shorter.

00;24;31;26 - 00;24;51;13
Unknown
And sometime you may get in a lot sooner. So I don't want to discourage. There's so many complex and different areas and different services that you're needing. Some services are faster depending on what it is you need, the complexity, the severity of your addiction. So still seek help anyway. But most importantly, if you have a support system, reach out to them.

00;24;51;13 - 00;25;13;26
Unknown
Tell them about what you you're you wanting to achieve. And I know when people have gone through addiction or issues, they kind of burn their bridges and they lose trust. People lose like, people don't trust them anymore. And so it can be really hard to tell people that you're trying to change who are thinking, no, you said that a million times, but just try again.

00;25;13;29 - 00;25;36;00
Unknown
And for those who are on the other end, like, give people a chance, people can change and change is rewarding. And if change didn't exist, there wouldn't be all these services. Like if we didn't believe people can change. If there's no evidence, people can change. So people can change. And so if someone is reaching out saying like, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z, help me lend a helping hand.

00;25;36;00 - 00;25;57;14
Unknown
And if you can find someone within your family who can, but don't, don't dismiss people. Opportunity or cry out for change. So I think that's that's just. Yeah. From the top of my head. My head is what people can do to just while they waiting. And yes, services just move the waitlist. I keep like I should be person based.

00;25;57;14 - 00;26;23;08
Unknown
Whoever is ready, help them. Not all like you don't have all these paperwork. So therefore, you know like sometimes these people are completely ready, but because they don't have the right documentations or the having ticked all the boxes, the paper go down on the bottom. And I find that a lot in my work and it's quite frustrating. And if I can be frustrated in the comfort of my home where I have food, I don't have addiction and I can be frustrated by the system.

00;26;23;08 - 00;26;42;21
Unknown
Imagine someone who's already overwhelmed, someone who doesn't think they even important, someone who is going through all this and they met with you need a letter from your GP to prove you need to go to rehab. You need a blood test. What's all that about?

00;26;42;24 - 00;27;05;27
Unknown
Yeah, I know what we say here isn't really going to change much. We're just two people talking. Hopefully a lot of people listening and want to help change things. But what are we missing there? Like why is it so hard? But. People are disconnected like a lot of services start with good intention and then they forget along the way.

00;27;05;28 - 00;27;26;07
Unknown
Obviously there's a business component to everything. So, the higher and the bigger the organization get, the more they lose their values. And obviously people they employ, if they're coming with sets of misconceptions and they have their own issues, how are they going to do the work? There's also no accountability when it comes to funding.

00;27;26;13 - 00;28;03;24
Unknown
I mean, there's not enough accountability of who did you serve? Which group were they? Are they the same 90% of the people you've been serving all along? Okay. Did you engage new people like they need to be accountability. We need to make sure that things are equitable. And you can do that by checking services. If you are servicing the same person in your reporting at 99 times as you serve 90 people, but it's the same people, it's not reflective and it's not addressing the real needs because there's people, there's levels, this category to pain, and you need to be able to help those who are at risk of deteriorating faster.

00;28;03;24 - 00;28;25;11
Unknown
And a lot of time, it's the, the marginalized communities, the, the, you know, the people with gender issues and disability. Like there's so many levels to it. And because there's no accountability, services can do what they want. And with a little care or they will say, we don't have enough funding, that's why we didn't help. And then they just get more funding and it's like, oh, we don't have more funding.

00;28;25;11 - 00;28;52;11
Unknown
Sometimes I just sit back. I'm just like, seriously, how many more millions do you need? Like, why is it you can't? You're saying you have waitlists because you had your 1 million taken away? Like, what's this got to do with like, of course there is like shortage and yes, it is, but just do authentic work. Like, you know, you started with very couple of hundred bucks, so and you were able to do some work.

00;28;52;12 - 00;29;14;02
Unknown
Now you have millions and obviously you can't do any work because you need more millions. It's greed. Yeah. And unfortunately, like you said, it would start with that one person. A lot of passion and minimal money. But as they get more and more like money and employees, it just dilutes. So what are you doing to combat that?

00;29;14;05 - 00;29;32;14
Unknown
Well, I'm not really combating that because I can't really change the full system because I don't even have the luxury or the privilege of being there. But on the level we do what we can, we are values driven, we are lived experience, we are connected to the community and with the little that we have, we make a difference.

00;29;32;17 - 00;30;00;14
Unknown
And we employ people who also know that there may be times where we don't have resources. Will you have it in the tank to help? Yeah. And we we speak up. I'm not afraid to speak up like you. I'm not politician. So nothing can be used against me. So I speak anywhere about the system that doesn't really hold big organizations and mainstream accountable, for the work that they claim to do, that I can tell you from the ground, from the community I've come from.

00;30;00;17 - 00;30;23;23
Unknown
I don't see it. I don't see it. Would you ever get into politics now? Why? Don't need to. I've got enough in my hand to do. Yeah, I feel like it wouldn't happen too much there anyway. But I can just tell my children I need to be on the ground with the people I enjoy my work and politics.

00;30;23;23 - 00;30;55;16
Unknown
Just politics. But my voice. I can speak anywhere. Country supporters understand. Back to the change thing I just saw, I thought I 100% people can change and I think people do need to give others more grace and love. Well, that's what this podcast is all about, helping people find their true form. So whether it's addiction or people trying to stop the health and fitness, health and fitness is a good example because how many people start their diet on Monday, every single Monday, and then the weight comes through and then I can pull off and then they start to make again.

00;30;55;16 - 00;31;13;23
Unknown
But it's that one Monday that makes that difference that they stick with forever and their whole life changes. And although somebody might be saying that, you know, this time I'm going to stop drinking this time and it's and yeah, they might be saying that you might not believe it anymore, but it's that one time they do stop. They do that will change their life and everybody around them.

00;31;13;23 - 00;31;42;05
Unknown
So yeah, yeah, a little bit of love and patience. Patience. That's it. Patience. Mine's Yep. Is there any tips, I guess, for coaches out there that you work with a lot of people? Is there any way? Patience is a big one, is what I'm going for here. So any other things that I can use as a coach to help people, sort of stick to what they want to, again, overcome addictions.

00;31;42;05 - 00;32;05;23
Unknown
Like, how do I become a better coaches and simple answer the question. I'm you're even just asking that question. That means you already a better coach because you're always willing to learn. I think when we all are willing to learn, I tell everyone I'm always learning. I'm. I'm a student everywhere. I think the most important thing is to listen to people and not assume, everyone's different.

00;32;05;24 - 00;32;28;22
Unknown
Like what I just said could be completely different for somebody else. So you can have that knowledge in the background that there's all these issues, but still ask the person, get to know your clients or your participants or services or whatever names that resonate with the work that you do. But most importantly, also be a role model like share your stories about what worked for you.

00;32;28;25 - 00;32;46;17
Unknown
What is what was a challenge? What was the the light bulb moment like? Share those stories. Like people may not do anything with that information at that moment, but eventually they'll remember. Jack said that when he was experienced, that he did this. Maybe I could do that. Like he's not any different to me. I could try that.

00;32;46;20 - 00;33;07;28
Unknown
So sharing stories, telling people stories about success and failures and what worked and what didn't work, whether it's when you're doing the exercise and you get to share a story like story sticks, you know, and, and they're usually authentic so people can try and replicate that. So and being a good role model like preach what you practice.

00;33;08;00 - 00;33;34;15
Unknown
So it's you know, obviously fitness is your thing. Talk about it. Be proud about it, brag about it. You know, I pride myself as the gratitude queen and people see it. I glow well, I don't look like my problems and because I actually practice what I preach. Yeah, that was joy and gratitude. Are healers overcoming hard times?

00;33;34;18 - 00;33;52;23
Unknown
What do you mean by that? Well, joy is about seeing the little things, and you don't have to be laughing. Ha ha ha. But you could just feel it. Like you could feel in your skin where you just feel joy. I don't know how to explain it, but I have a lot of joy in me, and it's a different joy.

00;33;52;23 - 00;34;14;01
Unknown
It's not a joy that I look fully like laughing around, but it's just a joy that grounds me that every single day I just look up. If you notice, when I came, like, I just took it all in, I'm like, it's beautiful space. I'm happy to be here. I'm present. So because when you have that mindset, everything else seems to just be a noise and you're like, I'm okay.

00;34;14;02 - 00;34;29;20
Unknown
Like, I, I use the word I'm okay and I really mean it. Like it's going to be all right, like there's going to be a better day and so when you when you have joy, you see the good in everything and it goes hand in hand with gratitude where it's like I kind of problem and I'm like, yeah, I don't like that.

00;34;29;20 - 00;34;53;23
Unknown
That's inconvenient. Like I shouldn't have to be in that situation. However, if not me, then who? Right. So I'm just like great. Grateful for the challenges. I'm grateful for my life in refugee camp. I'm grateful for the situations I've gone through here. I'm grateful and grateful and grateful. It doesn't mean I'm like, just okay with life, with things are I'm still pushing to for better day every day.

00;34;53;26 - 00;35;15;01
Unknown
Like I'm challenging myself. I'm trying to leave a legacy. I'm intentional about my decisions. I'm intentional about who I hang out with and intention what I consume. All that stuff. But I'm still like, I'm it's like I'm pursuing. But at the same time, I'm not like, running. I'm just like, cool problem. Because, you know, have you seen that temple run?

00;35;15;07 - 00;35;31;14
Unknown
Do you remember the temple? Right. That was my favorite game. The the it's like a golden thing. And it's like you jump over the thing and I keep finding more challenges during the temple run. Oh, my God, you remember the name. But I don't. Yeah, when I play. That game was so cool. Like it just kept coming through it.

00;35;31;15 - 00;35;55;02
Unknown
It would just like jump over and it's just it jumps over and it just like until, like, you win and you. Yeah, it's like more challenges comes. I'm just like, okay, what's next? Bring it, bring it. But with like so much grace and joy and gratitude and groundedness. So what's the end of the game like? What's winning? Oh, every day is winning.

00;35;55;05 - 00;36;27;06
Unknown
Healthy. I've got two beautiful children. I've got two started. One of the first African led rehab, in Victoria and Australia. White. As far as I'm concerned, that is going to be the hub for mental health care for people from African backgrounds and other communities. We're going to we're going to, we're going to set a precedent for Australia to appreciate culturally responsive mental health.

00;36;27;13 - 00;36;46;27
Unknown
So that's winning. To me. Yeah. So that's winning. And then winning is just every day when I'm better and I'm pushing myself to be greater, I feel so good, like, oh, you're not yourself. Like yesterday, you're thinking a lot different. You're the stuff that annoyed you yesterday. You no longer like sweating over them. Like, good job.

00;36;46;27 - 00;37;03;17
Unknown
Like I pat myself. I talk to myself when I'm driving. I tell my son, like, good job. You know, like, yeah, you're running late. But you get that you're doing your best. Like, you will understand. Like, you know, I, I, I talk to myself, my best friend. I'm my own best friend. And so that's winning. When I push myself to be better is winning.

00;37;03;17 - 00;37;29;20
Unknown
And that's all I can do. I don't know what else is there, but I know I'm doing my best. I talk to myself as well but I write it down. Yeah. Like what you just did. I was talking to a guest about this one time. But when you're feeling doubts and he's like you just want evidence. Like you go back through the things you've been doing and you can find evidence to prove the person you are because you've been doing those things.

00;37;29;22 - 00;37;48;17
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. And I journal Matt, you talk to yourself in the car. So it's the same thing like sometimes when I'm feeling like who am. But yeah, you have those times. Yeah. And you just got to go back and go, oh yeah, I have done this, this and this. Yeah. So I am that person. Yeah. Because your brain will try to trick you, especially when you see everything that's everyone's doing.

00;37;48;17 - 00;38;08;04
Unknown
Like our brain. Why that way. And we'll try to trick you that you, you haven't done enough. And you can reflect if you think you haven't done enough it's okay to also tell you so because it's seasons you haven't done enough this season. We've procrastinated a lot more. There's seasons where you make that's okay. It's good to also hold yourself accountable to say I didn't do this.

00;38;08;07 - 00;38;32;12
Unknown
Why was that? What was I distracted? Okay, I know better now, right? But just talking to yourself is really important. Both positively but also holding yourself accountable, but not in a negative light. Look at you like, you know, like, no, you wouldn't talk to your best friend like that, so you wouldn't do it to yourself. Yeah. Or if they did, if you did, they'll punch you in the face and they would not be your friends anymore.

00;38;32;15 - 00;38;36;23
Unknown
Exactly.

00;38;36;25 - 00;38;54;21
Unknown
That accountability. I think that's a good thing to have. In those moments where you're thinking that you want pushing hard enough and you're like, oh, yeah, I could have done more here, here and here, but what is that? What is that thought pattern like to then go, okay, this is what I need to do and keep moving forward.

00;38;54;21 - 00;39;17;21
Unknown
So how do you spot those times when you're not doing as much? And then not be so hard on yourself. But then how do you come out the other side and actually start getting things done? Yeah. I think it's different for everyone. For me, how I track it is obviously I've written some goals down and every now and then when I remember where I actually saved them because they're on my song, but I forget where it was notes or whatever.

00;39;17;21 - 00;39;34;17
Unknown
So I'll have to like set goals. And I'm like, and it's like, okay, maybe I've used acid. What? Like what? What's a title? What's. Because it's like whenever I think about something straight away, I get my phone, I quickly write it down and I forget what was the heading. So it takes me time. But whenever I get a chance, I keep reviewing.

00;39;34;19 - 00;39;55;19
Unknown
It could be as simple as call that friend or be a better sister or whatever. Like I put, everything is there, with a little bit of reason to why I needed to do that. And so I check and if I can see that a short term goal that I set in January is still sitting there, that's, like, okay, I haven't even done that.

00;39;55;19 - 00;40;17;26
Unknown
What happened? I got busy, okay. You need to get to it. Like you didn't write it down just because you wrote it, because it meant something to you. So you need to follow. So does that make sense? So I think it help in this busy and chaotic world and so many goals. We all pursuing the health, the mortgages or rent or whatever every like there's so many things now like I think in this day and age it was this food we needed to pursue.

00;40;17;26 - 00;40;40;18
Unknown
Now we have to pursue so many things if we want to exist and be part of these communities. It's so much expected from us. And so writing it down and then making a system where you're evaluating and then checking again and breaking it down to like short term goals, medium goal and then like overall goal. If you have that system, then you can keep taking off.

00;40;40;18 - 00;40;59;01
Unknown
It feels really good to take the most little things. Like I've texted that person back. I'm like, yay, I'm very responsive. You know, where did that come from? When, when do you feel organized? Well, writing things down because I think that's very valuable to do. But a lot of people have thoughts and great thoughts. But then they just all thought that was exactly.

00;40;59;02 - 00;41;19;25
Unknown
So, like, how do we get in a habit of writing those thoughts out? And where did that come from for you? Yeah. So for me, because I think a lot because again, remember I said I try to control my thoughts. So there's a lot of dialog happening in my head with every decisions. And it'll be like, no. And everything is almost like a bit calculated before I do it.

00;41;19;28 - 00;41;40;10
Unknown
And so I need to be able to write those down because. Because I'm not going just as I like. I'm, I'm not going with the flow so much. It means I actually have to write those things down. Otherwise I'll just be stuck in this dialog forever. But also, when I was doing my studies, The Bachelor, one of the module was a reflective practice, like we had to do journaling.

00;41;40;13 - 00;41;55;27
Unknown
And so we had to actually write, like if there's assignments you've done or there's something you encounter, you have to reflect on what it meant. And so I was like, oh, this is a really good system. At first I was like, what you wrote, like, it's not an essay. You just want me to write my thoughts down about how I feel about this whole situation and the like.

00;41;55;27 - 00;42;16;11
Unknown
Yep. That's amazing. Yeah. That's so, you know. And so I started to do that. And then after that I just started to write, like I write everything down, whether it's my note, I've got journals everywhere in the house, but sometimes my life is so busy I don't have time to actually write. Right. But my phone is with me, so I just go to the notes and everything's written down in there somewhere.

00;42;16;14 - 00;42;37;14
Unknown
And I was revisiting and if it's gone, I take it off and things like that. So through my studies and then also my, my work life and being trying to also be a role model obviously have to lead many things. Not only my children life like I need to know when their next appointment, a doctor's appointment is. I need to know when I need to look for the school.

00;42;37;19 - 00;43;00;04
Unknown
What are they eating? Like everything. I have to write that down because I'm leading that portion of my life. I'm also leading my life and then my work and staff and the community and many things. So if I just have all that sitting in my hand, it would be so disorganized. So I kind of like been forced into using what I learned in school to put it into practice, and it became a system.

00;43;00;11 - 00;43;23;24
Unknown
And it's probably the only system I have. Everything else is not a system. Like I said, I don't have routine in terms of waking up. I don't do any exercise like nothing else but that system work where first of the first, every year I literally record myself. But sometimes I want to post them, but I haven't post them because it's usually like 1:00 am and I'm like, Dear Nation, you know, you've done all this and this time next year.

00;43;23;24 - 00;43;40;15
Unknown
Exactly. You would have done this. There's this and I'll just talk slow it without any like organize. And then I'm like, that's it, I need to write those down. That's exactly if it's coming to my head and to my heart, it must be because I want it. So that's what we're going to work on. So I didn't write them as a goals.

00;43;40;18 - 00;43;59;08
Unknown
Love that. I'll do that as well. Every year I talk to the camera. Yeah I don't always release it. But yeah, sometimes I'll try to because it's good for people again to understand that if I'm doing it, hopefully it inspires other people. Do. Yeah. But having that record of myself every year in a row, it's it's it's inspirational for you.

00;43;59;09 - 00;44;15;26
Unknown
Yeah. Looking back. Yeah. Because again memories are great but you sort of don't really remember. Yeah. Yeah yeah. And if I think of something to write in a note like, you know, sometimes when you go to hotels and they have like those note books, I take all of them. If they're watching, they're like, oh my gosh, I'd take a write something in there.

00;44;15;26 - 00;44;33;04
Unknown
Whatever came to mind about my goals, about how I feel, and I'll write it and I'll date it, and then I'll put it into like my journal and then randomly I will go into my journal and I'll find it. Then I'm like, what was I thinking at that moment? This is very good. And then that becomes like the guide for the next thing I want to do.

00;44;33;07 - 00;44;55;15
Unknown
Yeah. Do you keep a diary like a schedule of your day? It's on my phone. And yesterday, my goodness, my phone decided not to work. I felt so lost. So now I'm going to go back into the diary. It was like the worst one. It was 12 hours. That felt like I felt dizzy. I was like, what was I supposed to do?

00;44;55;15 - 00;45;16;10
Unknown
It's 1:00 now. Did I have an appointment? So usually I have a calendar that again, has everything from send that email to checking emails to did it to duh. Everything again has to be schedule. Otherwise if it's not there, it's gone. Like I remember it once. It's actually already happened. Like I'll be sitting and someone message. Hi, I'm just wondering if you're joining the meeting.

00;45;16;10 - 00;45;37;09
Unknown
I'm like, oh no, I didn't look at my diary. So nothing actually sits in my head. Everything is written down, especially things that needs to be. Action is written out. Things that are in my head are the future thinking are the goals, are the dreams are the free flow that comes from joy and gratitude. The things I notice about me, that's what sits in my head.

00;45;37;12 - 00;46;00;19
Unknown
Any schedule is written down. Anything that needs to happen now is written out. The future stuff just comes. I think that's massively on the write it and on the look because you, you are doing so much. You're a mother of three. You got all this stuff happening like you can't even it's I, I struggle to sort of think about trying to get everything down.

00;46;00;19 - 00;46;17;04
Unknown
And I feel like you're doubling everything I get done. But it's sort of reassuring to know that you just schedule everything out to in new schedule. Put it there and you just get it done. Yeah. And you try and if you miss it you reschedule for the next day and it takes priority because it was missed.

00;46;17;07 - 00;46;42;10
Unknown
Yeah. Writing stuff down and journaling and thoughts and all that sort of stuff you said is that stuff you recommend in the workshops and also that you do. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. So I when I was working in rehab for a different organization, I used to run a, group called journaling. And I would get the groups to do the journaling and we'll teach them different types of journaling, you know, from goals journaling to reflective journaling to gratitude journal.

00;46;42;10 - 00;47;00;19
Unknown
Like different type of journaling has a different type of writing. So your goals, you're obviously just writing goals. Your reflection. That could be the situation. This, this session we're doing, I can go and reflect about what went well, what didn't go, what I could do better next time, blah, blah, blah. And then obviously gratitude things you're grateful for.

00;47;00;19 - 00;47;19;12
Unknown
So writing three things you're grateful for every night, you know, to end the day with positivity in the morning, writing your goals. And so there's a lot of evidence that journaling, like, is good for depression. It's good for managing anxiety. It's good for managing memory issues, which a lot of people, when you overwhelm, you have memory issues. And with age as well.

00;47;19;14 - 00;47;36;22
Unknown
It is just good to put your thoughts out there so it's not sitting in your heart. It's not manifesting to something else. Like so many benefits, I can go on and on and it's your secret space like it's better than, like just going out there and just verbally, like, let's say you upset about something instead of just like, just checking out on people.

00;47;36;22 - 00;47;50;07
Unknown
You could write it down and not, and you let it out and you will still have it the same experience as if you told someone, but they didn't get to see it. And now you don't have to be sorry. You don't have to like, take it back. It's written and that's how you feel. And it's between you and your pen and paper.

00;47;50;13 - 00;48;13;24
Unknown
Like so many benefits to writing. Yeah. So I would definitely recommend it, especially if you're trying to reorganize your life and you want to leave a little bit in the grounded space where you feel that sense of haze and sense of order, writing your things down. And it doesn't have to be pretty, but just writing them down, like you could just go to came out and get a cheap book.

00;48;13;24 - 00;48;38;03
Unknown
Like, it doesn't have to be those expensive places, but just write, right, right, right. It's even good now, like with this technology, we all losing our, you know, our pen license, right? We can't spell because everything is being pre spell for us. It's even more important now to prioritize things that allows you to use your brain, which means when you're writing, you have to actually, you know, think about what you're saying and writing it down.

00;48;38;06 - 00;49;00;24
Unknown
So I think, journaling couldn't be more important than now. 100% agree. Every month I share my thoughts. I write my thoughts down like you do, and I put them on social media. I'm left handed and I don't touch. I'm left handed, so it's a mess. Yeah. So it takes me about five guys to actually get it nice so people can read morning.

00;49;00;28 - 00;49;21;23
Unknown
But again. But I couldn't write. I couldn't show my writing. I have the worst handwriting, but you know, like, I didn't do my primary school. I didn't do Kindle. So that's my excuse. No one taught me how to write, but mine is as well. But I figure if people see me doing it and it's so bad, I hopefully it inspires them to do it.

00;49;21;25 - 00;49;40;16
Unknown
Yeah. That's true. That's my thought, my diary. I'm never going to make it like I get. So that's one thing I get so conscious of. And one day I'll master it. When I'm like a retired and have nothing else to do, I'll learn how to write properly, because I would love to write so late in the line and it's not going up.

00;49;40;19 - 00;49;56;11
Unknown
You know, all that stuff, like I was just, you know, left is always good, so just goes outside nice. And then if you're watching and it just kind of goes off and I'm like, there you go. Hopefully you can read it. But that's a point. Like no one needs to read it, especially if you're a journalist. And that's the point I was trying to make, like, yeah, it doesn't matter.

00;49;56;18 - 00;50;15;22
Unknown
Yeah, it's just pen and paper. A lot of time. There's no grammar reminders, spelling mistakes. I don't understand it. Yeah. Yep. Any other things that you do in the workshop. So journaling and all that sort of stuff. Anything practical, things like that. Yeah. So the support groups that we run Mondays and Tuesday, it's a psycho educational group.

00;50;15;22 - 00;50;40;25
Unknown
So we cover various topics, from financial wellbeing to positive communication styles, boundaries. You know, emotional regulations, like every topic that's different, that is informed by the group themselves. So we just there to, you know, teach people some skills that they sometimes they already know. Most of the time people know things that they just don't utilize them or they don't see the importance of utilizing or when to utilize them.

00;50;40;28 - 00;51;01;24
Unknown
So our group is there to just help people become aware of what they already know, and a purpose on how they can actually apply it to their lives to improve many areas of their lives. In the Collective Healing workshop, we do things like, like we would, engage, a therapist of whether it's yoga or a therapist would come and they will.

00;51;01;25 - 00;51;24;05
Unknown
Yeah. Specialize what they do. At the moment, we're looking to plan, grief and healing activities just to help people not just grieve, as in lost loved one, but losing your culture, losing identity, losing a job, relationship, whatever loss may look like for many people, just being able to. Yeah. So that's my new, well, not new, but it's been around for a while.

00;51;24;05 - 00;51;45;07
Unknown
It's cool, you hear? You heard it first. Yeah, it's called grief wellness. I've been working on that for maybe about five years. I had that name in my diary for so long before I even knew what that mean, but I was like, I've seen enough from my community that I think used to grieve really, like they they knew how to deal with grief.

00;51;45;07 - 00;52;14;08
Unknown
But now our cultural way of doing things, our practices, they all kind of jumble up with the Western system. So we like doing a bit of both, which means none of them is effective because it's like two different cultures that don't even, like, make sense when it comes to grieving and healing. And so I've always yeah, I wanted to be part of, I guess, reminding and retraining and working with the community to learn to go back to the traditional way of grieving.

00;52;14;11 - 00;52;35;23
Unknown
Yeah, we we grieve together. We we eat, we talk, we encourage each other. We still do it. But it's like so many systems that kind of allow it. Like if you live in a two bedroom homes, your whole community can come and grieve with you, which means people have to take turns which way that togetherness is being. If you work, you can't just be home to like, accommodate your guests who are here.

00;52;35;29 - 00;52;53;04
Unknown
You know, you kind of go back to work. People are being given like only a couple of days to grieve, whereas back home we have a whole community, you know, that would be around and everybody worked in either farm or something, like, you didn't have to have a boss you had to report to. Right? So yeah, that's exciting stuff.

00;52;53;09 - 00;53;12;25
Unknown
That's very exciting. I think, like you said, that's very timely at the moment. Grief, wellness. I'm excited to hear that. Hopefully you can come back on and we can just do a whole podcast on that or I can. Yeah. Mentors or people you look up to. You said before we started recording, you're saying you like to surround your people with people with.

00;53;12;25 - 00;53;39;08
Unknown
Yeah, people that, like doing more. I admire that you admire. Yeah. Again. Where does that come from? Just. Yeah, I'm a much who I've had on the podcast as well. He said the same legend. Absolute legend. Yeah. And I'm some sort of envious of that because obviously it's a cultural thing as well. I've noticed. And I guess I didn't really have that growing up, or I guess I craved it as a young man.

00;53;39;10 - 00;54;16;12
Unknown
I guess you crave that sort of thing to look up to people and, and now you sort of transition that into the social media age, and that can be sort of ripped into many different ways. And influenced in bad ways as well. So is that a cultural thing, like looking up to and surrounding your people self with people like that or another culture think, I think it's it's it's a many thing, like from your upbringing, like, my family were very black and white and it's just like, don't do something you're going to regret.

00;54;16;15 - 00;54;48;25
Unknown
Like, no one's going to give you grace if you're being silly. Like a bit of perfectionist. And so that was my upbringing, where it's like, I have to take accountability, for things I do, like there was, you know, like. Yeah. And so I think everyone is different. What drives me is that. Yeah. Like, I, I've always choosing who I surround myself with and being really selective with only being around people that actually have values that aligns.

00;54;48;25 - 00;55;19;17
Unknown
Like I'm also very value based person, like, I, I look deeply between the way people talk, what they do, their lifestyle like, should I trust what they doing? Like, I'm quite selective, but it served me well. Like whenever everything I achieve is because I also had support of people that I admire, and they offered something in return to either challenge me to be a better person, or connect me to people who can, helped, or trust in me or encouraged me.

00;55;19;19 - 00;55;37;09
Unknown
If I just surround myself with people who are just like me, I don't know, like I don't know where I would have gone. But we all know now because I'm not going back that way. So yeah, I always served me well being around people like, since even when I was younger, I always hung around with people who were older than me.

00;55;37;09 - 00;55;55;17
Unknown
So for as long as I've known, people always thought I was older. Like, I'm old now, but when I was younger, like, I haven't changed much. I have different goals, but I'm the same. Been always kind of like, know what I'm doing. You can see me in a whole crowd. You think I'm like, what I'm doing? I'm part of it.

00;55;55;17 - 00;56;16;06
Unknown
But it's like I'm completely like in a different mindset. And so being around people that inspire me, that I have values, as always, served me well. And so I'm like, why change it now? People who mentor me, they have people with lots of experience like, you know, and they people who will tell me as it is. And I love that.

00;56;16;06 - 00;56;36;22
Unknown
Like, I don't if I choose you as my mentor or if I'm surrounding myself with you because I want you to challenge me, I don't want yes man type of friendship. Because if I want that, I can get it from social setting. Have fun for one night, go home type of thing. If you're going to be in my life, it's going to be people who helped me grow and hopefully also the people.

00;56;36;24 - 00;56;57;16
Unknown
There's something they like about me and I inspire them in their own way. And if you interview them, they probably say something similar in their own way. So there's this give and take, but it all starts with values. What do you like? I like social justice, I like truth, I like, growth. You know, I like learning. I like what else?

00;56;57;18 - 00;57;20;04
Unknown
Kindness. I like people who see the bigger picture. I like people who have lots of gratitude. I love, yeah, people also have silly side to them. Like, I'm very sarcastic as well, so you know. Yeah. So I like a lot and I look in all that, I'm like, okay, if they can't take all, at least they have to take their truthfulness.

00;57;20;11 - 00;57;45;22
Unknown
The authenticity city, city, that word. How do you find those people? Just putting yourself out there to work through connections, talking to people, telling people, you know, this is what you like. You know, like being also open about the things you like. Because I know here in black on me too, like, oh, I also struggle like that's it goes back to that story telling.

00;57;45;24 - 00;58;01;04
Unknown
The more you talk and share your story and be a bit vulnerable, the more you attract other people to be like, I like that about that person. Let me see if I can connect with them. But if you just keep yourself reserve like no one's going to read your mind, they're not going to know from face value whether you connect or not.

00;58;01;04 - 00;58;29;14
Unknown
So talk. Talk about yourself. Talk about what you do. Connect with people. Us. And if there's someone you inspire. I did this coaching, course a carbon bomb nine weeks ago was like 7 or 8 weeks or 30. It was long. I can't remember now. But I did that. And the first session, we were told if there's someone who you want to mentor as much as you want to be a mentor, someone you want to be mentor, text them or write them a message, right.

00;58;29;14 - 00;58;47;00
Unknown
What you're going to do to them. And I did that straight away. I was like messaging people. I'm like, would you be my mentor? And people like so receptive. So you just if you don't ask, you won't get. But for me, like there's a lot of people I'd love to message, would you be my mentor? What do I say?

00;58;47;00 - 00;59;07;11
Unknown
What I'm doing? Simply say what you like about them. Okay. Where the value is. What is the one thing you don't have to say? Like, tell them everything. Because I probably already know. Simply say hi. I've been watching you. I like say something that you truthfully you connect with. And I was just wondering if you like to catch up.

00;59;07;13 - 00;59;23;18
Unknown
Trust me, people, especially when you have, like, slightly about like that, they want to catch up because everybody wants to be like, ooh, I'm like, you know, like, so they will catch up. And when you catch up, you can talk more about whether they have the capacity, whether they're available, and if they don't, they will tell you they will connect you to someone else.

00;59;23;18 - 00;59;37;11
Unknown
Or maybe not this round, but at some point they will think of you. But there's something. It's like asking for a pay raise. Once you've done it, once you become comfortable with it. And one of my other mentors told me that a long time ago, for the first time, I was like, you need to ask for a pay raise.

00;59;37;11 - 00;59;54;23
Unknown
And I was like, but like, I love I don't want to be greedy or like, like that was not for this organization. But when I was working, the normal jobs were doing so much. And they said to me, you want to run the race for them, so they need to give you the feel to run the race. Otherwise you keep walking.

00;59;54;26 - 01;00;15;08
Unknown
You've got the potential. So say it. Simply say, I would like to catch up or let me know who I need to talk to about pay raise. And when I did that and it got rejected, I was like, that's it, I'm going to go even bigger now. Like so it's the same thing once you ask, once it becomes comfortable and you can learn from that.

01;00;15;11 - 01;00;33;28
Unknown
Whatever they say. If they said, oh thank you, mate, I'm busy, that's great. At least now you know that's the only response you'll get anyway. Like in terms of if you don't ask, you don't know what type of response you get. So you learn from it by simply just scripting what it is you like about the person or what it is that you admire and say, let's catch up.

01;00;34;00 - 01;00;52;08
Unknown
Especially the higher the people are, the more they want to catch up with people, because everybody get to the point in their life. It doesn't matter what you're doing. Every, every single one of us is human. Have something to offer. It doesn't matter what, how much you make, what great every single one of us get to a level that someone else is not at.

01;00;52;10 - 01;01;14;20
Unknown
And when you get to that, there's something about wanting to give back. If people have the bellies in the right places, of course not everybody. But so the higher the person in your own perceive, bigger where they at, the more they actually would make time to speak to you, because they get they reach a certain point where they're like, I'm ready to give back, but they just don't know who or they just haven't identified.

01;01;14;22 - 01;01;33;20
Unknown
And so you are saying, I've been watching you. I'm liking what you're doing. I'm moved by it, which just shows that the recipe of whatever they're doing is working because people are watching and they are moved by it, and they want to learn from it. Why would you not want to give that? So we found that mentors, we've become a better person.

01;01;33;22 - 01;02;05;13
Unknown
We we are where we want to be. How then do we become mentor mentors, mentors? Use your experience. Use what you know, like fitness is your thing and fitness come with a lot of grit, disciplined mindset, valuing your health. Like so many things, I'm sure you know. You know so many things. Those are really important lessons you can teach someone who's going through stress, who's going through separation, who's going through homelessness, who's going through unemployment.

01;02;05;13 - 01;02;28;17
Unknown
Like they can be applied to anyone having the grit, having the discipline, being able to do to value yourself, your wellbeing, you know, eating well, sleeping well, all that stuff that people into fitness. I don't do that but understand the concept. But when I want to get there, I'll do that right, you know? So you can again watch for people you can actually pursue.

01;02;28;20 - 01;02;43;18
Unknown
You can actually say to someone, I want to mentor you, I've done that too. In that course, they were like, as someone who to mentor you, but also as someone who you want to mentor. And I did that. I messaged people and was like, hey, I'm doing this course and I would like to give some of my hours to mentor you.

01;02;43;20 - 01;03;06;22
Unknown
Yeah. So you can ask people and so you get mentor and you're mentoring someone. And now it just becomes this full circle. You're learning and you're sharing it. And everybody like that's that's how you contribute to building the community in a different way. We're coming up on time. We'll touch on one more. Yeah. So to touch on through that conversation then.

01;03;06;22 - 01;03;32;26
Unknown
But rejection how do you deal with rejection. Because obviously you would have dealt with it a lot in my work. Yes. Whether my ideas too much or whether my focus group is too much, or whether my passion is too much or whether I talk a lot, I hear all the time. And every now and then in May, I may feel, like, you know, tired because it's like I'm just trying to do the right thing.

01;03;32;26 - 01;03;52;27
Unknown
Like, why does it have to be this hard? But then I'm just like, yeah, like I it wasn't supposed to be easy. They're not my people. So I just keep going. So from work wise, I just it just gives me more determination to be stronger, learn what I need to learn, whether it's the way I speak or whether what I pitch.

01;03;52;27 - 01;04;18;17
Unknown
I go back and relook at the my approach, reevaluate and goes, I'll come back. And if it's not that person, I go to someone else. And if I can bypass that, the person who reject me, I go as further as I can to be like Miss Opportunity here. Yeah. Look at that. Right. And then in other things like as I grow I'm starting to become introvert.

01;04;18;20 - 01;04;41;08
Unknown
Like I used to be very extrovert. Like I had so many people who I knew when I thought they were my friend. Like I was very popular, maybe because that car and lived out at home and had a good job? Maybe. Who knows? But now I'm very introvert. Like it's a one, two, three strike you out. If people if I've sense any sense of rejection, I'm quick to just go.

01;04;41;18 - 01;05;09;21
Unknown
You know my people, I'm moving so I can really like speak to rejection in personal life because there's not even opportunity to get rejected because I'm not doing anything with anybody. I'm not talking to anyone. But yeah, professionally, I just reevaluate if there's anything that I can learn. Maybe I went too hard. Maybe I didn't give enough information, which makes it fair for people to reject rejected because nobody has time to read your thoughts if you didn't really articulate them well.

01;05;09;24 - 01;05;32;14
Unknown
So I evaluate myself. Or sometimes people are just jealous sabotages. They don't want to see you growing up like young woman. What? Like why would they want you to be, you know, before them or whatever? So I know all those things. I'm aware of the power play that plays into the rooms. I could be in. So I don't take that as anything.

01;05;32;14 - 01;05;57;16
Unknown
I'm like, it was done before. There was women way before me that have set the bar high. So don't dwell on it. Keep going. And so I take that better. But I think in a personal life I just delete and block. So it's like I do completely opposite. Yeah. But I think that's the thing I as you said as you get older and you start understanding more people better, you know you just have that ability.

01;05;57;16 - 01;06;17;05
Unknown
You just go that's it. Like yeah, yeah, yeah I don't have passion for certain things, but for my career, my children, different story for my normal life. It's just like if it's not working, it's not. And I just don't look at a rejection. I'm just like, I don't even think I take time to even look at it.

01;06;17;05 - 01;06;20;20
Unknown
Rejection. I just move on.

01;06;20;22 - 01;06;43;26
Unknown
I just forget disconnect. Yeah, yeah. But that's also good because you don't want to linger on it as well, because that can cause. True. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Sean. Thank you. Any final thoughts? Where can people find you? Oh, yeah. Work with you? Yeah. So you can find me through NHS Recovery center. So that's. And as recovery center we are in Cranbourne West.

01;06;43;28 - 01;07;07;02
Unknown
We open ya Monday to Wednesday. They're 9 to 5, for drug and alcohol, mental health or anything that the person wants to talk about. Just come to the center. There's always people there to support. In terms of personally, you can reach me on LinkedIn. I believe it's near Sean York, NY arc. I don't know where this has a dot in it, but you just have to search it out and it's quite unique.

01;07;07;02 - 01;07;24;08
Unknown
So I'll link them all in the show notes. Yeah, yeah. And then Instagram. I'm quite active on all the social media because of what I do. I want to be able to reach the community and I don't have a marketing agency. So I'm my own, my, my personal platform. So I'm using it to get the message out there that there is help that's available.

01;07;24;08 - 01;07;43;18
Unknown
So you can find me in pretty much all social media except Twitter and TikTok. I'm not that I don't know how to use it, so whenever. Yeah. Appreciate your time. Appreciate you coming on. Thank you. I've got about a thousand follow up questions so I can have to do that to some point. Thank you for having me.